My Decision To Convert To Heathenry

One of the things I want to talk about on this blog is religion (and how religion ties into disability, feminism, and other aspects of my life). So I want to start off talking about my religious background, and why I decided to convert.

I was born, baptized, and raised Catholic. As a young child, my parents were very devout. We went to mass every Sunday, and every major holiday. I took communion. There were no other options open to me as a child. And for a long time, I never even questioned it. I assumed it felt wrong because I was a sinner and a bad person, not because the religion was wrong for me.

As time went on and my parents divorced, they became less and less religious, until they no longer attended church at all. While I was much relieved, I also felt like something was missing in my life. So as a teenager, I researched many different religions. Eventually I found Wicca and Paganism, and so until this year, I identified as an eclectic Pagan. And I loved it for a long time. It was a much better fit than Christianity. But it was still off. There wasn't enough structure, and the community was so sprawling, yet I didn't really connect with the other Pagans in my area. Maybe it's Christian baggage, but I really desire group worship. I didn't like celebrating the Sabbats alone.

For the last year, I've been really interested in the Northern Gods and Heathenry. And the more I've learned about it, the more I've grown to like it. The community is smaller, but it's so closely knit. To my great surprise, there are actually a ton of heathens in my area! In fact, I've already made plans to go to a 3-day camping Freyfaxi celebration that is open to the heathen public, less than two hours away from my home.

In addition to that, I'm really attracted to the heathen worldview. It's so different than the Christian-centric western worldview I grew up with and am used to, but it seems so much more authentic to me. I love how centered around family and ancestors it is. I love the structure of it. I think that Heathenry can help me become the person I want to be. On the downside, I will have to do soooo much studying. They are not exaggerating when they call it "the religion with homework". But I am a scholarly person, and I've been enjoying it so far. I don't have a lot of money to spend on books right now, but so far I've been able to find lots of free PDFs, so we'll see how well that goes.

Right now, I'm just focusing on getting a really solid foundation. I can worry about the rest another day.

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