Face To Face: Why Apathy Regarding Heathen Gatherings Hurts All Of Us

As some of you are aware, I am a volunteer administrator for a statewide heathen organization that meets 4 times a year. I love doing it. I love being able to serve my community. As a disabled woman, I am often unable to participate easily in volunteer efforts that have a real life impact, but this is one area where I can make a difference. But right now, I am frustrated.

Why? Because of the apathy I've come face to face with.

When I volunteered for this position, I was aware that it wasn't going to be particularly easy. Someone asked me if I was prepared to herd cats - I laughed. But it really is like herding cats. Getting others to participate has been my biggest challenge, without a doubt.

My organization has just under 30 members, 3 of which have joined in the last week. Our Yule event is tomorrow, but only 12 people will be attending. Out of those, only 9 are full members, and one is a junior member. It's not an event with a huge commitment, just a dinner and sumbel at a public restaurant. But most of the people who couldn't make it "couldn't get it off work", despite knowing about it three months in advance. It's a long drive for most of us, but there were offers to carpool and nobody asked for gas money. Others cited financial reasons, which is certainly understandable. But I'm having a hard time financially, too - to afford the gas and beer money I had to sell books because we had an unexpected drop in income. Why couldn't these people carpool and spend $10 on a bowl of soup and a beer? Or even forgo the beer and food altogether for a simple glass of water?

But for the majority of the people who can't make it (and several people didn't even respond to the invitation), I believe that work commitments or finances is not the issue here. The root of the problem is apathy. Why drive an hour to meet face to face when you can just chat on Facebook? Why make the effort to get out there if you can just sit at home and read one of dozens of blogs about Asatru? Why not just wait until there's an event near you?

I'll tell you why: because if you don't get out here and get involved, there will never be an event near you.

Asatru is a tiny religion, compared to Christianity or Islam, or even Wicca. We have no public churches, no billion dollar foundations or religious colleges exclusively for heathens. Several of the largest Asatru organizations in America have either collapsed or become known as cesspools of racism. Our media coverage almost entirely consists of racists and gangs. Anyone who bothers to study Asatru in depth soon realizes that these people are a small yet vocal minority, but I wonder how many potential heathens are turned away because of this reputation, if they ever find out about us at all. Online communities outnumber offline ones, and as much as I love and value the internet as a resource, this is not a good thing for heathenry.

My point is that, you and me, the Chiefs and Steerswomen, the Gothis and Gythias, the online scholars and podcast hosts and blog authors - we are the future of heathenry. Our community is so small, that all of us have the potential to become influential within this small sphere. This is an incredible time to live in, because we have this amazing opportunity to change and mold heathenry however we like. Our community is small, but I do believe that it is growing. And yet, I still face this brick wall of apathy. It is our biggest obstacle. When I talk to other heathens, they lament that they can't find community, that they can't find a kindred or a tribe, but strangely they're not willing to go out and build the community they so fervently claim to seek. They hem and haw and make excuses - it's so far, I'm poor, I'm not a leader, I don't know enough about Asatru. They sigh and cry about how hard it is to be a solitary heathen.

But when their leaders ask them to support heathen businesses, to donate to their fundraisers, to attend events, they do nothing.

Maybe it has to do with the overculture. We live in a society that breeds followers and encourages people to stay home, watch Netflix, don't go protest, your vote doesn't matter, don't bother participating in local elections or shopping at small businesses or buying local.

Fuck that.

That's not a heathen worldview. We should be passionate, we should be active, we should be creative and productive and industrious! We should form more statewide organizations, more kindreds, we should build our churches. We should build our communities. We should write books and make art and make podcasts and blogs and host pubmots and we should show up at Pagan Pride. We should use the internet as a tool to find each other, to meet each other face to face, to learn about Asatru and to research our ancestors and to build a large and vibrant and diverse community. Our kindreds should be visible and active in the greater communities. We should make a difference.

There aren't that many of us. Nobody else is going to build your community for you. We have to do it ourselves.

Fuck apathy.

Not All Pagans Are Wiccans

This picture is nice..... But factually incorrect. Pagan is not the same as "not christian, jewish, or muslim", and by the way, Islam is the religion, the followers of Islam are muslim. Muslim is not the name of their religion. Paganism is a blanket term for the pre-Christian religions of Europe, and includes modern reconstructions of those religions, such as Asatru and Druidism. Paganism is commonly used in modern times to refer to Neopaganism as well. Neopaganism includes many nature-based religions created within the last century, most of which are based at least in part on Pagan religions and may believe in polytheism, pantheism, and/or animism. This includes Wicca, Eclecticism, Witchcraft, Shamanism, and some people also include recon religions as being neopagan.

Pagans are NOT often solitary practitioners. This is a very Wicca-centric image as a whole, but "solitary practice" is very much an Eclectic Wiccan thing. For example, almost all Asatruars and heathens are either part of a kindred/theod/tribe, or actively looking for one. In Heathenry, and several other traditions, belonging to a group or community is heavily encouraged. Actually, many Wiccans who belong to a specific tradition are part of covens and circles. It is acceptable to be a solitary practitioner in most pagan religions, if you have to, but most traditions encourage being involved with your pagan community.

"As long as your faith harms no one and nothing..." is a great sentiment. It is also a Wiccan sentiment, and not all Pagans believe in "An it harm done, do what ye will". Once again, using Heathenry as an example, heathens often believe that "what is good for the tribe is good, what is bad for the tribe is bad". This means that, for example, if someone was threatening your kin and the only way to keep your kin safe was to harm or kill the person threatening you, then it is perfectly acceptable to do so. In fact, it would be dishonorable NOT to protect your kin, in any situation. It's also perfectly acceptable to butcher a feast animal in the name of the gods, though this is not often done in modern times.

So, here's your daily reminder that NOT ALL PAGANS ARE WICCANS OR ECLECTICS, AND WE SHOULDN'T ASSUME SO! Sorry for the wall of text. Feel free to discuss this in the comments!

Freyfaxi Celebration & A New Doctor

Last weekend I was away to Heathen Michigan's Freyfaxi Celebration! It was great. I met a bunch of people I've been chatting with online, traded a woman a painting for three dozen eggs, and shivered in a tent with my fiancee in a thunderstorm!

[description: photograph of 19 people, ranging in age from children to an old man, who mostly appear to be fair-skinned or white, dressed casually for late summer weather, standing on the side of a road in front of a forest]

My fiancee decided two days in that she wants to become a heathen, too. I'm so happy! While I would support any decision she makes in regards to religion, it does make things easier if we're walking the same path.

I also discovered a new found respect for my ancestors. Logically, I knew that my oldest ancestors didn't have the same modern conveniences we have now, but even cooking food over a campfire is a difficult process! And I didn't even have to kill and butcher my food! But campfire chicken and potatoes are so very delicious.

We stayed an extra day because I had a doctor's appointment in Lansing on monday, so it didn't make much sense to drive all the way home only to drive back the next morning. We ended up being the only people in the campground on sunday night! It was a little creepy, and I was slightly afraid of being attacked by coyotes, but there's nothing more fun than walking around your heavily-wooded campsite totally naked while trying to wash up.

So I met the new doctor, and I'm pretty sure I don't like her. But she is starting me on Lyrica, which we should be picking up today, and she also convinced my fiancee to start buying me more fruits and vegetables. All in all, it was a successful weekend, and I'm very tired now, but happy.

Resources For New Heathens

Someone on a facebook group I admin for, Pagan Nerdfighters, asked me for some resources for people interested in Heathenry! So I decided to compile a list of resources that have been useful to me so far. Keep in mind that I'm a beginner myself, so.... take this with a grain of salt. This is simply what I've found useful, as a beginner.

Books:

A Practical Heathen's Guide To Asatru by Patricia M. Lafayllve - This is a decent beginner book. You can buy the kindle version for $9.99, and it's a very basic Heathen 101 book. It has really helped me get a solid foundation, and I recommend it to any heathen who is just starting out, especially if you're coming from Wicca or Paganism and are used to having books that clearly cover the basics. You should probably start with this book.

Edit: Check out my full review on this book HERE!

The Children of Odin: The Book of Northern Myths by Padraic Colum - I believe this book is written for children, but it's a fantastic collection of Norse myths that can be enjoyed at any age. This is especially useful for people who are mostly unfamiliar with the gods of the North, or who need a refresher course. You can download this for free on amazon or the heathen gods website.

Culture of the Teutons by Vilhelm Grönbech - This is certainly the type of book that needs to be chewed and digested thoroughly. I don't admire the author's writing style, but it has a lot of valuable information. This is another one you can get for free on the heathen gods website.

I also recommend reading the Sagas and the Eddas. I haven't quite finished them yet, but they've been invaluable to me in developing a heathen worldview.

Other people have recommended to me We Are Our Deeds and Our Troth Volumes 1 and 2, though they are more pricey so I haven't had a chance to read them yet.


Websites:

www.heathengods.com - This website is maintained by Jotun's Bane Kindred. While I don't particularly like them, this website is an amazing and invaluable resource for heathens everywhere. There are literally hundreds of books available for free download or purchase and the main website has a ton of information about Heathenry.

www.reddit.com/r/asatru - This is a wonderful online community for heathens, and the sidebar also has a lot of great information.

https://oregonheathen.wordpress.com/ - a blog by Josh White, one of the people who does the HeathenTalk podcast. I really enjoyed his recent post on frith.

http://www.asatrublog.com/ - a blog by Aleglad, who is another highly respected member of the online Asatru community. I very much recommend reading over his posts on Converting To Asatru and The Basics series.

https://heathenroundtable.wordpress.com/ - This blog posts a discussion topic every month and then links to all the replies. This is a great way to get a lot of different opinions on certain topics. I'm not sure if they're still active, because they haven't posted topics for August or September.

Podcasts:

http://www.stitcher.com/podcast/heathen-talk-podcast - Heathen Talk is my favorite podcast! It's run by Lauren, Thorin, and Josh, who are all highly respected heathens and redditors. They often have guests and highly intelligent and well-informed discussions. Their episode N00bcast is specifically for new heathens. They livestream every Wednesday on youtube.

http://www.infinitebeliefs.com/podcast/episode-02-kevin-aka-aleglad-heathenryasatru/ - Infinite Beliefs had Aleglad on as a guest for this episode, and it was wonderful.

A note on tumblr and facebook - While these websites can be great resources, and you'll find several pages and groups and blogs about Asatru, there's a lot of crap you'll have to wade through to get to any useful information. There is a lot of disdain in the heathen community for these groups, and for good reason. There is a lot of misinformation being perpetuated and UPGs being taken as fact, and a metric ton of Christian and Eclectic baggage. If you choose to be involved in those spaces, I recommend taking everything with a grain of salt and to be aware of bullshit.

Garage Sailing

I met another heathen today!

Someone I've been talking to on facebook was having a garage sale, conveniently enough for me, the same day I had plans to visit my pregnant best friend, who's staying about 15 minutes away from his house! So I decided to stop by. Unfortunately, I think I came off a bit shy and I didn't talk too much, but I might be joining a DnD game they host! Hahahahaha.

I also picked up a rice cooker, the Lord of the Rings box set (books, of course), and a metal bowl and a pair of metal incense burners. All for $10!

So lots of exciting news for me! I'm also getting ready for the Freyfaxi camping trip and potluck and public blot I'll be attending. So nervous, yet so excited. This month is gonna be all full of heathen-y goodness. Plus I'll be seeing my internal medicine specialist for the first time, so that'll be a huge plus as well.

Hair Update

So I got my hair cut yesterday! My head still hurts from it. I told the girl to be careful because I have really severe scalp pain, and she was very cautious, but my hair is super thick and resistant to being combed so some pulling was inevitable.

It came out a little shorter than I wanted, especially my bangs. They'll look longer if I flat iron them, though. Later today I'm going to strip the black out from my hair and recolor it burgundy!

What do you think?

The Hair Problem

My fellow spoonies will understand this situation.

A few months ago, I was forced to cut my hair. I'd been putting it off for over a year. I loved my long, naturally curly, beautiful hair. I'd been slowly and painstakingly growing it for years. But as I got sicker, it got more and more difficult to take care of it. It tangled constantly, and I was too tired to brush out the matted knots twice a day. Plus, the unbearable scalp pain meant that I had almost constant headaches and migraines from brushing it.

I tried putting it in dreadlocks, which was fine for a few months. But I couldn't even take care of those - those necessary constant palm-rolling and upkeep was still too much. Plus, I struggled with the ethical problem of whether or not I was appropriating my hairstyle. So eventually, crying all the while, I hacked it off in my bathroom sink and brushed out the remainder of the dreads. I chopped it to a much more manageable (but in my mind, horrifically ugly) short bob. I cut it as short as I could bear.

It's been about three months since then. I still hate my hair. I cannot stand my short hair. I think it is frizzy, uneven, and ugly. To make matters worse, it's been growing in uneven. Since I cut it, I have very rarely gone out in public without a bandanna, head scarf, or wig. It's now grown long enough that it's starting to tangle again.

Originally, I had been hoping that over time I would figure out a solution, so that I could grow my hair back out enough to put in extensions for my wedding next year. I do not want to have pictures of myself in my family's photo albums with ugly hair. I am ashamed of my hair. It has gone from my favorite feature to the thing I hate more than anything. It is a constant reminder of the things my illness has stripped from me.

My FMIL is getting married next week, and she informed my fiancee that I was not allowed to wear my wig to the wedding. I am absolutely crushed. We were not anticipating this, so not only am I wracked with anxiety about my appearance, but it's going to be a huge financial burden for us to pay someone to make my hair remotely acceptable. I have four-inch roots, so we're going to have to pay someone to cut it AND color it. We're looking at anywhere from $50 to over $100, money that we don't have. I hate getting my hair done, because stylists rarely know how to handle my hair type, they don't do what I want, and it always comes out ugly. And now I will be stuck with ugly, horrible hair in family pictures, which is exactly what I didn't want. If we can't afford to get my hair done and I can't wear my wig, then I won't go to the wedding. Being poor and chronically ill is just very difficult sometimes.

The Struggle

Some days I just can't get anything done.

I'm trying to read Culture of the Teutons, and I can't focus long enough to read more than a paragraph or two.

My stomach is growling, but we don't have any more "easy food" to make, and I don't really have the energy to cook something. Even just mac and cheese.

I don't really want to complain, I want to express how I feel, and right now I just feel tired.

Heathen Names

I've been seeing a lot of discussion over the last few days about "heathen names" and "viking names", and thought I'd weigh in on it.

Choosing a new name because of religion has a long history. In the ancient world, freshly converted Christians would choose (or be given) a new "Christian name" to symbolize shedding the old Pagan identity, and becoming a good Christian. In many cultures, people had multiple names and nicknames.

In the Pagan and Wiccan communities, "craft names" have been around about as long as Wicca has. The idea was that by choosing a magickal name or a craft name, you could protect yourself. Wiccans, especially, have faced a lot of discrimination in the workplace and at school over the years. It was common for people to practice in absolute secrecy, and many people hid their religion from their families and friends. So by using a different name around other Wiccans and Pagans, no one could accidentally "out" you or get you in trouble. After a while, Wicca and Paganism became more popular and acceptable, and people began to regard craft names as a spiritual thing, where you shed your old (often Christian) identity and introduced yourself to the gods with your new Pagan identity. I think that's incredibly ironic. It's a very popular tradition in the Pagan community, and some people have birth names, pagan names that they go by in the general community, and even "coven names" that are known only by members of the same coven or circle.

Now, I understand why Heathens decide to choose new Heathen names, but I think that in the context of the Heathen worldview, it doesn't make much sense and it might even be offensive. Many Heathens, like myself, come to Heathenry through Paganism. I see Heathens talk about religious baggage all the time, and I agree with the opinion that Heathen names are a result of Pagan or eclectic baggage.

One of the main arguments against Heathen names is that it's offensive to your ancestors. While I think that it probably depends on your specific ancestors and your specific name, in most cases I think it's fairly true. Your name is a gift from your ancestors, and it's the legacy that you're going to pass on to your descendants. Even if everything else about your family is forgotten, you can figure out at least a little bit through your surname. Keeping your name is a way to honor your ancestors, as one redditor said. So unless you have a really good reason (like if your name is absolutely ridiculous, or you're a trans person who wants a name that matches your gender), I think you probably shouldn't change your name for the sake of Heathenry.

Secondly, if you don't actually belong to the ethnic group you're taking your name from, you might be participating in cultural appropriation. So keep that in mind.

Third, unlike in Wicca and Paganism, there is no traditional or cultural reason to take up a new name. Religious minorities are much more widely accepted now than we were even 5 or 10 years ago, and it's not really traditional to re-name yourself in Heathenry.

All that aside, I think that if someone asks you to call them a specific name, then you should. Ultimately someone could have a good reason for it, and they're the one who has to live with it, so let them be. If anyone I know were to choose a Heathen name or a Viking name, I would call them by it.

How To Provide A Better Experience For Disabled* Pagans

*for the purposes of this post, I won't be differentiating between mental and physical disability.

Obviously, I am a disabled Heathen. I've been disabled for the majority of my teenage and adult life, and many of my friends are also disabled, so I am speaking from first-hand experience. Many Pagans are disabled. Around 15% of the population is disabled in one way or another (if this number seems high to you, remember that not all disabilities are visible), so there's a good chance that every Pagan gathering will have at least one disabled attendee. It's really important, then, to make sure that Pagan events, temples, and groups provide a good experience for disabled Pagans. Make sure to talk with anyone in advance to figure out what their specific needs are, but here's where you can start.

1. Make sure your venue is ACCESSIBLE.

Your venue might include a temple, a park, someone's home, even a metaphysical store. Sadly, many of these places are simply not accessible, or not accessible enough. Every Pagan should be able to meet other Pagans and celebrate holidays with them, so the most important thing is to make sure the venue is accessible.
Accessibility is more than making sure there's a ramp for wheelchair users. If you're hosting an event, make sure that everyone who is attending will be able to get to it. Outdoor events should include minimal walking. If the walk is longer than the average parking lot, you should arrange for a wheelchair (and someone to push it, if applicable), a golf cart, or another mobility aid. In addition, make sure that the ground is level and free of obstacles, holes, or hills. This includes making sure that ramps are not too steep and that any stairs also have railings. If people will have to walk over uneven terrain or use stairs, have an able-bodied person offer their arm to lean on during this process.
Allow people to bring caretakers, assistants, or service animals, and make sure that there is access to a phone. Ensure that paramedics and other emergency personnel would be able to get to you during an emergency. Also, make sure that your venue is in a safe place and is well-lit without being blindingly bright.
It's important to ensure that there is adequate seating for anyone who might need it, especially during rituals. Some people can't stand comfortably for more than a few minutes at a time, and anyone with chronic fatigue might need a chair nearby. Keep in mind that while stools are easy to store and carry, they are also very uncomfortable and people might have trouble balancing on them.
For stores especially, make sure your aisles are wide enough for someone with a walker, a cane, or a wheelchair to maneuver in, and ensure that you don't put products on the floor out of reach.

2. Make sure that everyone is included.

Just because someone can't dance or isn't comfortable with being touched, it doesn't mean they don't want to participate! Personally, I was always more than happy to sit in a chair in the circle and sing or beat a drum while everyone else danced. Always ask someone before touching them, and if they don't want to, don't force them. Instead, find another way for them to be included. If you are doing chants, try to provide everyone with the lyrics beforehand, and have a few paper copies available for anyone who might need or want them. If you are serving food or having a potluck, there should be something for everyone to eat, so be mindful of allergies and special diets. Rather than asking someone to sit out, try to find a way for them to participate.

3. Be conscious of everyone's needs and do your best to meet them.

For example, Deaf Pagans might want to have a sign language interpreter on hand (if they do, PLEASE don't expect them to pay for it). Pagans with autism or anxiety may want to have access to a quiet area they can go to if they experience sensory overload. Bathrooms should be on-site and easily accessible, and allow people to bring snacks, drinks, or medication if they need to. If someone is allergic to cats, it would probably be best to shut Fluffy in the bedroom instead of letting him roam wild. I am convinced that cats can tell if you are allergic, and they will always try to rub up on the only allergic person in the room, so when in doubt, shut the cat out. Make sure no one is sensitive to any incense you plan on burning or oil that you're going to anoint people with. If someone wants to leave the room or the event for any reason, let them.
The best way to figure out what someone needs is to just ask them. Make it clear to everyone that they can approach you with any concerns, and encourage people to make suggestions. If you are having trouble meeting someone's needs, ask them what you should do.

4. Be flexible, open, and understanding.

Disabled people have a wide variety of needs and potential problems, just like any person. Educate yourself and try to work with us, not against us. Understand that sometimes, people with chronic illness are not the most dependable and consistent people ever. We're not anti-social, lazy, or apathetic, and there are many valid reasons that we might be late or that we might have to cancel at the last minute. Personally, my illness fluctuates from day to day, so my needs fluctuate as well. On more than one occasion, I have had to cancel an outing that I very much looked forward to. If a disabled person says that they can't make it on time or at all because of their illness or disability, believe them and try to understand! We want to be there, but we don't always have full control of our situation and circumstances. Someone may look perfectly healthy, but that doesn't mean they are. Similarly, someone might need a lot of assistance and accommodations one day, but they might not need anything special on another day. This is why communication and trust are vital to ensuring that disabled Pagans have a great experience just like everyone else.

If you're planning an event, I hope that this post was helpful to you! If you have any questions, ask them in the comments, or tell me about your experiences as a disabled Pagan. Share, subscribe and check back every day for new posts!